A Better Day

So I stayed proactive today and actually accomplished a lot. There is still so much to do! Today I have more hope than yesterday though. Funny how things can change with a little action. The hard times are not over just yet but like I said in my last blog... one foot in front of another. I actually looked up some NA and AA meeting times. I'm needing to remind myself where I came from and who I am again. Having the support of the steps and other recovering addicts is an important thing and I seem to forget that sometimes. I know if I just keep working hard at doing the next right thing, everything will work out in the end. Maybe not in MY timeframe but it will. This is the reading today in Just For Today Meditation. I always find it strange that when I read the material it is exactly where I am at that moment. That instant gratification comes in many forms Maybe not drugs TODAY but in all areas of my life. My thinking is my disease. This is why I made that short film above. How easily it is to be tempted by the things in our lives that are not healthy. Not just drugs and alcohol. But co-depence, food, shopping, whatever your vices might be. I just have a lot of them that I have to work on DAILY. It's progress not perfection!!
July 12, 2011

Patience

Page 202

"We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us."

Basic Text, p. 25

"I want what I want, and I want it now!" That's about as patient as most of us ever got in our active addiction. The obsession and compulsion of our disease gave us a "one-track" way of thinking; when we wanted something, that's all we thought about. And the drugs we took taught us that instant gratification was never more than a dose away. It's no wonder that most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous with next to no patience.

The problem is, we can't always get what we want whenever we want it. Some of our wishes are pure fantasy; if we think about it, we'll realize we have no reason to believe those wishes will be fulfilled in our lifetimes. We probably can't even fulfill all our realistic desires; we certainly can't fulfill them all at once. In order to acquire or achieve some things, we will have to sacrifice others.

In our addiction we sought instant gratification, squandering our resources. In recovery we must learn to prioritize, sometimes denying the gratification of some desires in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience. To find that patience, we practice our program of recovery, seeking the kind of full-bodied spiritual awakening that will allow us to live and enjoy life on life's terms.

Just for Today: Higher Power, help me discover what's most important in my life. Help me learn patience, so that I can devote my resources to the important things.