old tapes vs new tapes

Seems like lately that I have both old tapes and new tapes running in my head at same time. I keep trying to find the knob to turn up the volume of the new tapes to drown out the old or the stop button to turn off the old tapes. Maybe I should explain what I mean by old tapes and new tapes. In recovery I learned that as children we learn a behavior about our thinking that is negative. Things like I am not good enough, I am not talented enough, I am fat, all those negative thoughts that run thru our head our old tapes that we learn somehow in our life. When we are getting well we learn the new behavior of affirmations about ourselves and who we really are. Like, I am beautiful, I am kind, I am talented, etc... This is where I am at today. Those old behaviors old tapes never completely go away but we try to listen to our new tapes. I'm struggling with that. I know it is just the pressures I have in my life right now. The loss of my mom, my son moving out, having to find a new place to live that is more affordable and works for me in this new chapter of my life. The fact that I have to put school on hold for a bit. Not knowing my purpose in life after spending my entire adult life caring for someone. I'm seeing that co-dependency stronger than ever because of NOT having someone to care for. I don't know what the right decisions are for me and I'm really trying to listen to the new tapes. Somedays are harder than others I guess. I'm still learning this new behavior. There is still hope for me. I do hear that new tape! As long as I don't give up on life, life will not give up on me. Does that makes sense?